Mamamia

It's has been a heck of a long time since I last blogged on here, almost a full year. You can tell I am not the blogging type as much as I enjoy it, I am truly just the lazy type. I really love expressing my words in written form and always get a lot of intrinsic value from it but I struggle with the motivation part of it. Oh well, I will still write when I can.

Not very much as changed in my RL but soon will be in the upcoming month. Getting a job soon and I also have my cousin visiting me for another week. Been so busy with her and she has kept me on my feet almost everyday, wanting to go out and about the city. I am very much an introvert so it has been hard to have her around 24/7 but I manage to stay sane because I just adore her and I really appreciate the time we spend together. I missed her so much since she moved across the country and I am trying to avoid the sad emotions I will experience when she leaves next week.

I have an actual SL boyfriend, the first one I have ever had. It was so funny how we met and we still laugh about it to this day even though it happened last month. I have been so used to being alone in SL until I got closer to my friends and eventually got included into their family, so it has been an intersting last couple of months in SL. I will try to write more in here but I can't make the promise because if I do, I will probably fail miserably, lol, but I will definitely "try".

Hope everyone is doing well in their life and until next time... ta ta!

Life As We Know It

Time has passed by so fast and many things have happened since the last time I blogged. I really thought I would continue blogging at least on a weekly basis but that didn’t happen. I am an avid blog reader but writing my own blog post takes up so much of my energy that I just avoid it. I enjoy writing and expressing my thoughts, feelings and ideas but it takes up a lot of my mental energy. I happened to pass by my blog and reread some of my posts today. As soon as I finished reading them, I automatically received this surge of energy and interest in writing a blog post.

Now, I am not going to go into detail about the last couple months but I do want to write about something that I noticed today. I managed to pass by my friend’s blog: Quaintly Tuqiri. I have been so caught up in my own life that I had not realized she had created a final post on her Second Life blog. She decided to not renew her domain because she rarely spends time in SL anymore and has stopped blogging about it. When I read that last post, I didn’t know how to feel. I noticed her interest and amount of time in SL dwindling down as the months have past. Even though we weren’t friends in SL, I enjoyed reading her posts as they were always entertaining and made me laugh. I will definitely miss reading about her adventures in SL.

Since I had started reading her blog at the beginning of this year, I had missed a lot of her previous experiences. I decided to go back to the first post in January 2008 and read all the way to the last post, kind of like a novel. I am only half way through and I am enjoying every moment. Reading about all the challenges, friendships, transformations and adventures that she experienced in SL made me realize how much this virtual world can impact a human being (for better or worse).

To many people, SL is just a game but to others, it is another world where they can learn, create, relax, love, etc. Some come into this unique world and leave as fast they arrived while others stick around to see what it can offer them. Life is constantly moving forward and so are people. I just want to take this moment to wish Quaintly the best in her life. I hope that experiencing SL has created positive memories that will never be forgotten for her. Luckily, I still am able to follow her first life blog and I am honored to continue being apart of her life.

BBBC 2010: Day 6 - The End or The Beginning?

Hi everyone!

I am late once again but nothing unusual about that, now is it? I have been super busy with rl stuff that I haven't been able to get around to posting for the last challenge questions for the BBBC 2010. The questions wonder what I got out of this experience and if it will change the way I blog in the future?

I have met many wonderful people through reading other people's posts for the blog challenge. I have also received insight on how other people think about the similar issues in life. I love learning how people have such different viewpoints and perspectives. Those are the things in life that make each person so unique.

I have also learned that I love writing in a blog and I do have so much to say. I think it's easier to write to an audience who do not know me in real life. I feel more anonymous and I am not as reserved. It's like I am writing in a secret diary and I like it that way. The best part about this diary is that many people are reading it and leaving their own thoughts and feelings, which makes it more interactive and fun.

I know that I will continue blogging in the future. I am still deciding if I will create separate blogs for different blogging topics. If I do decide, I will let everyone know in the future but as of right now, I am going to keep it a mix. Thanks for reading everyone. :-)

BBBC 2010: Day 5 - Crazy Days

Hey readers!

I woke up today to see that I missed the bloggers challenge party yesterday and I was so upset. I always seem to miss Alicia's parties every single time due to real life stuff. The challenge question today is to write about whatever is on our minds. When I saw that, I thought uh oh! I am not going to be able to stop writing if I just write whats on my mind. I worry a lot, so I have my brain stuffed to the top with ongoing thoughts and ideas. I hope that writing about them will help clear my mind.

I am going to write about real life stuff only today. I used to go to bed around 5am and wake up everyday around 11am, so I was a night person. I took classes in the evening and studied at night, so this scheduled worked perfect for me. I have a lot of people living with me and I also get distracted easily. Since the completion of my schooling, I have decided to start on a new schedule of waking up early since I am going to start looking for a job. It's tough, trying to to get on a completely new schedule after so many years and it doesn't help that I am a night person. I enjoy being up when everyone is asleep and everything is quiet and peaceful.

I also woke up on Wednesday to check my final grades for school and boy was I in for a shockaroo. One of my teachers gave me an "F". When I saw that I actually got physically sick to my stomach. I regained my composure and started thinking about the class. Where did I go wrong? I realized there was no absolute way that I really got an "F". The class final paper was 30% of my grade and before I turned in my final paper, I had 100% in the class. All my previous class work was 70% of my grade and even if I had not turned in my paper, the lowest grade I would have received would have been a "C". That is when I realized it had to be a mistake.

At 6am in the morning, I called my professors phone number and left a polite message of desperation. I also sent an email immediately after the phone call. I was starting to worry because this teacher had a tendency to never respond to email. I always had to ask him questions during class that I had previously emailed because he never wrote back. He is an older guy but a good teacher. I actually had him for another class four years ago when I started at the school and I got an A in the class.

I did not suspect this could happen to me at the worst time ever. I just graduated from school and I am waiting for my diploma in the mail. I hear it takes up to September to receive it... This grade would set me back from receiving my diploma on time and that worries me most of all. If you would like to know, I turned in my paper on time, so I knew it couldn't be that. So I am impatiently waiting for a response, which I am sure won't come soon. I am going to give him until Monday next week and I will call again. I will then call my school and find out if they can give me advice as to what step to take next.

This was the first time something like this has happened to me since I started college. On a great note, I got all A's in my other classes and a 99% on one of my projects in another class that I was worried about. I also have my new baby nephew coming next Tuesday and I am sooooo excited!!! My sister has to go in early Tuesday morning to be induced even though her due date is the week after. I am not sure why they decided upon an earlier date but I ecstatic.

This is my second nephew and I am going to my sister's house to stay with her son for a couple days while she and her husband stay at the hospital. I will also be there during the delivery but not inside the room. She only wants her husband with her in the delivery room, so I have to stay outside. Last time was intense, being outside the door and hearing her have my first nephew. I had tears in my eyes during it because I hated to hear her in so much pain and struggle. She is also not telling anyone the name of her second son until they come see him at the hospital. I get to be one of the first since I will be there right after she has the baby.

I am currently putting together my first "look of the day" post, which I have decided to create a separate post on this blog, since it's kind of long and will just extend this already long post. I hope you enjoyed reading my crazy days post and I hope everyone has a great day or night! Thank you for reading.

BBBC 2010: Day 4 - Becoming Wiser

Hi readers!

I am so behind on the blog challenge because of real life issues and I feel bad about it because I was so on top of it. Well, can't beat myself about it and just get on to continuing blogging. The blog challenge questions for day 4 is related to the age of my avatar in SL.

My avatar is very much like me in real life. I don't really feel the need to explore and venture out beyond my comfort zone. I like to be comfortable and no one can tell me otherwise. I am not the kind of girl to take risks unless they will benefit me in a positive way and I am fairly certain of the outcome. It has a lot to do with the way I was raised. I don't really think of my avatar as having an age but if she were to have an age, it would 25 years old like my real life age.

I know, I know, I am not that exciting but I really don't care. I love being me. I am happy being me. Sure I get my moments where I am not feeling the best but in the end, when it's all over, I realize that I love me no matter what.

BTW, I am going to start doing some "look of the day" fashion SL pictures on this blog since this was originally supposed to be my fashion blog. I am still going to blog SL and RL stuff, so it's going to be a combined blog. I might start separate blogs down the road if I feel like I am going to be doing the fashion posts permanently. I think it will be fun and even though I am a beginner, I am going to do my best. Your best will always shine through. Thanks for reading my post!

BBBC 2010: Day 3 - Online Relationships?

I have been going back and rereading my last couple posts and I realized something about my writing. I write like I am still writing in college, all technical sounding and I don’t like that. I am going to work on sounding more relaxed and “personal blog like”. So here goes my attempt at that.

I am going to answer both questions for the blog challenge and combine them again like the last post because I think they both pertain to me. When I was 19 years old, I met someone on the internet through the online version of pool on Yahoo games. We continued talking through an instant messenger and I realized that I really liked this guy. We soon started talking on the phone and I spent many hours a day getting to know him. He really liked me and I liked him.

We continued to be close for many years but I never met him in person. We did the whole web cam and phone conversations but I didn’t feel comfortable with meeting him yet. I am kind of a slow to warm up kind of girl and I really needed to feel close to someone before I become “closer”. He stuck around and we talked every single day for a “long time”. I kind of considered him my boyfriend but I didn’t consider him to be until we were actually physically together.

I was also going to college at the time and I didn’t want/need a boyfriend at the time because I was very invested in my school work. Yes, I am kind of a geek, nerd, whatever you want to call it. I didn’t go to parties, do drugs or drink as a college student. I really didn’t have much friends and I didn’t desire having the college lifestyle. That was not why I was going to college in the first place.

I never really told people about my relationship and even though guys tried to get close to me, I didn’t reciprocate. I really like this guy that lived so far away and I eventually wanted to meet him and have a whole relationship. He always stuck around no matter what we were going through. Even though we weren’t together physically, I still felt extremely close to him. I probably felt more close to him than anyone else in my life. He knew things about me that no one else knew and I liked that closeness.

I believe online or long distance relationships are extremely difficult to keep and you do have to work very hard to sustain them. You can’t go out to a dinner or a movie. You don’t get to experience those arms wrapped around you or the feeling of his/her lips near yours. It can be a lonely feeling when you watch other couples around you. However, I got used to it and after a while it didn’t bother me as much anymore. Sure, I thought about it from time to time but I knew and hoped that my day would come eventually. You see, I have a lot of patience and this kind of relationship takes a lot of patience from you.

As the years went by, I felt closer and closer to him. He wanted to visit me but I resisted because of selfish reasons. I had already lost so many people in my life at that point in time and my wounds were fresh. I didn’t want to lose him too. I didn’t want to have him near me and then leave. I was scared of having to get used to being alone again. I also had other reasons which I won’t get into right now. I know a lot of people think I am strange, weird, or weak for making this decision but I was okay with it. Ironically, it took a lot of strength to make that decision because all I wanted at the time was to have him near me. He didn’t leave me because of it either.

It’s funny how I went on and on about this relationship even though I initially started with a very different question. I think it is because it’s my first time actually writing it out on paper. I feel like I am letting out all my thoughts and feelings about the years that went by in this relationship. I think I could go on and on about what happened but I am not going to go into more detail otherwise I will be here all night. Maybe in another post, I will explain what happened but for now I will finish the challenge.

Online relationships require a lot of creativity, communication and trust. Just as in a physical relationship, they can work out great but if one partner fails to work at it, then it will fail. I did feel strange telling people I met him online because I thought they would think I was weird. I hate going to clubs or bars because I don’t like being around a ton of people whom I can’t relate to. I also know that you’re most likely not going to find your husband there either or I at least hope not. I guess finding my online partner was a natural for me. I never realized it back then though.

I don’t think it’s for everyone out there. There are a lot of jerks and creeps online who hide behind their false identities. They are the ones that give online relationships a bad connotation. I think you can find your future partner wherever you may go but I believe that the internet extends those physical boundaries that surround us. Second Life is a just another extension so I don’t see it as any different then the rest of the internet. I personally never had a Second Life relationship for various reasons. Anyways, I think I have already blabbered away enough and I should end this post here. Feel free to ask any questions in the comment section and thank you for reading my post.

BBBC 2010: Day 2 - Three Wonderful Things in My Life

Hey everyone,

I am back again for a second post already. I have been spending a lot of time reading all of the blogs that are participating in the BBBC 2010 and I really find myself enjoying it. Mostly because I love to read more than write. Alicia talked about her childhood and having her head in the books. I was also that kind of kid and my parents would get upset every time they saw me reading. They would constantly say that all I did was read, read, read and I would do nothing else. Maybe I was addicted to reading, but at the time, I just thought they were exaggerating.

Well the blog challenge questions today is to write about three positive things going on in your Second Life or real life. I decided that I am going to do both and combine them.

In my Second Life, I am fortunate to have a few really close friends. Just as in real life, I have an introverted personality. I love hanging out with people but I am also just as content and happy to be by myself and with my own thoughts. I enjoy going to parties and gatherings in second life and in real life but they are not my first choice for fun. I am one of those people who sits back and listens or reads all the conversations happening at a party. What I really love is to spend time with those few friends who are most close to me and I am so glad to have them in my Second Life and real life. I treasure them and keep them close to my heart because I know how hard it is to come by true friendship these days.

Another positive thing is that I am never bored in Second Life or real life. I hate being bored and my Second Life and real life allow me to constantly be engaged and learning about something. It took me seven years to get my bachelors degree in college and not because I had to take that long. I just kept taking classes to extend my time in school because I love learning. This may sound cheesy but I actually sat in class and said out loud to the people around me, "I love being in this class". They just laughed and thought it was cute but at that moment, I was feeling so ecstatic for just being there. Sometimes, I wish that I could go to school as a career and get paid for it (laughs).

Recently, I have been feeling down even more than in the past. There are a lot of reasons for that but I am not going to get into it for this post. It can take a lot of energy to get through a day and I am sure many people can relate to those feelings. Sometimes just having a day of feeling content is all I can hope for in my life.

However, I am glad that I am able to find happiness in all parts of my life even when I am feeling down. I try to find meaning in all the little things in life. Stuff like watching my little nephew smelling a rose for the first time or listening to the rain while I fall asleep bring me joy.

Well that is all for today and I hope that whoever comes by my posts, can read them and hopefully find some inspiration in their own life.